I have had several dreams since my son died. All had specific meaning. Last night I dreamt we were all out as a family. I went around to kiss everyone hello and came to Billy. He was wearing his black dress shirt that he owned and jeans. I was so shocked to see him. We kept hugging and hugging. He said mom I am back. I kept saying omg i have been so sad. I missed you so much. I was so relieved this nightmare was over. I woke up and I felt so sick to my stomach because it all wasnt real. I felt so incredibly sad. As much as I love to see him in my dreams it always ends up that I say goodbye again to my son. It’s always like trying to find your way out of a nightmare that never ends.