You watch the things left behind with all of its broken pieces that lay on the floor trying to find their way back to an old life that will never be the same. I watched a 3 year old experience loss before ever experiencing life’s order of things. Talking to him on an owl stool that he bought her telling him about her day. I watched a little girl be put between anger and watch every person that she sat with , fall off the ledge of her life one by one. Pieces of loss stacked in piles all around the corners of a new existence. This has been my greatest separation from him. The beautiful story of her he created into my life, crumbling into dust . Life will never be the same.
There are the pure at heart. The ones that feel everything so more than others. That wait for the call, the hug, the thoughtful intention. That have suffered at some point in their life and have fought every day to keep balance. They feel so much more then most. Nature keeps them peaceful. They develop some incredible talent to rely on. Then there are the monsters. They walk amoung us preying on the vulnerable and weak, disguising themselves as the kind at heart. Making you feel like you are always wrong and they are the true victim. They know how to break you into a million pieces with just one word. My heart breaks every day it broke you. You were so loved
I think about January each year. It was the month when it all started. The silence……….the last time we spoke. 2 months out of your life I will never know what happened or what you were feeling. Not until after you were gone did I learn of choices that were given to you that I know broke you. I can never go back to fix that day. My grandfather wrote this in my Dads graduation from college. Your brother read this at your funeral. I think sudden death will always present us though to live a “what if” tomorrow. I loved you yesterday, today and all of the rest of my tomorrows. That will always remain. Love Mom
Take the love you have for me and radiate it outwards, allowing it to touch and impact others.
Take the memory you have of me and use it as a source of inspiration to live fully, meaningfully, and intentionally.
Take the image you have of me in your mind and allow it to fuel you to take action.
Seize the day and be reminded of what is most important in life.
Take the care you have for me and let it remind you to care for yourself fully and shower yourself with your own love.
And take the pain and grief you feel following my loss and alchemize it into love, compassion, and beauty.
Build a castle from the wreckage of my passing and allow it to unlock your greatness and potential and empower you to become more than you ever thought you were capable of being.
Know that I can never truly leave you and will always remain beside you, watching over you in spirit.
Know that the love I have for you lives on through the connections you form, the kindness and compassion you share, and the future relationships and friendships you cultivate.
Until we are one day reunited, I will remain with you through the storms and chaos of life.
I am always beside you, walking with you, laughing with you, crying with you, and smiling with you.
Thinking about my son how he loved Christmas. Nothing will ever be the same
Written by Donna Ashworth
— HOLIDAY GRIEF — The festive season, ‘the most wonderful time of the year’, but if you are missing a face at your table, it can be the hardest time of all.
How to feel merry, how to feel bright, when your world has lost its light? How to carry on, continue the traditions, when the person who made it all worthwhile is not there?
How to face the music, the dancing, the cheering and the reflection of a year gone by, when the pain is already suffocating on an ordinary day?
You just try.
It is all you can do my friend.
You try, very hard, to imagine, what that person would tell you, and if you listen really closely you will hear it in their voice.
What would they want you to do? Retreat? Isolate? Or take their favourite songs and their funny stories and their little festive habits and share it with your loves?
In their honour.
Now that they cannot.
I think we can all agree, it is what they would wish for you. I think we can also agree, that they would want you to feel as loved, as you once did when they were here.
They would want you to feel their love still.
They are trying very hard to make you feel it.
It hasn’t gone away.
And you need that love now more than ever, and everyone around you needs it too.
So, feel their love, say their name, bring them back to your festive table, even if it takes all of your courage and heart.
Living with a Broken Heart Remember what the Tin Man said in the “Wizard of Oz” after he finally got a heart…. “Now I know I’ve got a heart because it’s breaking.” If someone you love died, your heart is probably broken. So how do you live with a broken heart? The answer isn’t how you fix it or move beyond it. The skill is learning to live with your grief as an ongoing way of being in the world. It’s the way you honor that which you love. What I’m proposing is that, with enough healing, living with heartbreak can become natural, and very normal. From my personal and professional experience, I can tell you that as you embark on your healing journey, you’ll start crying a whole lot more. Not just to clear pain, but for the simplest of everyday reasons, and out of nowhere. You’ll cry when you see a bird, a can of paint, an apple, or even the shape of a cloud. Random things will make you cry. The heart is designed to grieve, it wants to grieve…..it has to grieve! Especially when it’s broken. This is the price you pay for love. The loss of the life you thought you had, the life you once knew and held so dear. Loss of a dream you believed was true. But you can also find and feel grief in opening your heart. Opening it to love and to new possibilities. Opening it to what the future holds. Isn’t that what life is all about? Endings and beginnings, closings and openings? The heart was designed to navigate you through this forever winding adventure called life. But you have to be willing to feel…..and to live with a broken heart. Here’s the thing…..you can learn to live with your broken heart by befriending your grief. You can discover the love that still exists around you…..and share that love with others who are also living with a broken heart.
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