A new me

I wish I could put into words what it feels like to lose a child. Your body falls into a state of shock. Like a protective glass surrounding your skin. Looking through a window of a world you once knew but nothing feels the same. After time the pieces of glass fall one by one and the reality sets in. As time gets further out the sadness deepens. The photographs become less and less. The holidays and birthdays pile on top of each other one by one. What would you look like now. I miss happiness. I miss true joy. I hope to help another parent through this journey. My son spent his life worrying about other people. Never feeling good enough to fit into this world that can be cruel. He was the most amazing human being I have ever known. He has set the bar on what I need to be. He said I was his hero. But he was mine.

2 thoughts on “A new me

  1. Such a beautiful description of the pain no one can imagine, until it happens to them. Our boys were not physically with us nearly long enough, nonetheless they made us who we are today. It is up to us to spend the remainder of our lives honoring the amazing men they were. We were chosen. We were their moms!

    Liked by 1 person

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