By Edan Fisbaine PH.D

Talk Openly and Honestly Through Stories

One of the most poignant elements of young loss is the death of a parent before a child has the ability to retain long-term memories. When a tangible presence fades tragically, how can the memory be kept alive as the child grows? Talking about the deceased and the child’s feelings of grief is crucial, especially for her development and well-being. Hope Edelman, activist and author of Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss, underscores this as “the most important and probably the simplest way to keep a loved parent’s memory alive for the child.” Over time, she says, it becomes critical to continue talking about the parent, “or the child starts feeling as if they’re losing the connection, and this creates a cognitive disconnect. The child knows there was someone who was very important but the adults, by not talking, diminish that person’s importance in their lives.”

The voice of the Mom & grandmother…
The hardest part of losing my son is to also lose my day to day experiences with my son and sharing in the joy of being with his daughter. He would always make it a priority to include me in her life. We take for granted those days and then one day they are gone. Some are lucky and some not so lucky as their spouse moves on in life. My case is not so lucky. Now that bond I have with my granddaughter is limited to her new life. We want them to not suffer with the loss and not be robbed of a normal life as a child. But for the grandparents and parent left behind it is a death of two worlds. What we have left of them is taken away in some cases. We can only put together the memories for them so that one day when they grow up they will know how wonderful they were.

These photos were taken by my son on days they spent together…………

One thought on “

  1. I am so sorry that your contact is limited with your granddaughter, but I’m confidant that even with less than ideal contact, you will never let her lose The connection to Billy.
    ❤️ Hugs from Ginger

    Liked by 1 person

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