The mornings are the heaviest. Every morning I open my eyes and know its a new day. The heaviness that sits in your chest with the Start of each day is always the same . in the beginning i gave myself purpose. Took on projects, found ways to remember and honor him. With. Each new project it kept that light alive. Never let it go. Almost like the feeling of hope. What kind of hope do you have to something that will never change. This must be survival. Survival of loss. Connection to a life that you can never live without. Maybe it will make someone say his name. Talk about a memory. This is the insanity of childloss. Then there are the days it all falls apart. A mother once asked me if I feel like I’m on a constant roller coaster . Out of nowhere you burst into tears. You keep yourself grounded from the anxiety with the familiar. Change is too hard to handle. You just go through the motion of life so people believe you are still alive. But you died a long time ago with your child
all thats worth remembering Uncategorized 1 Minute
Published by all thats worth remembering
A mother who has experienced the unimaginable. My greatest gift in my life are my sons. I could never imagine my life without them until one day I lost one. I want to honor his memory and help others who have experienced the same with my support and friendship. I have met amazing new friends through this journey that have saved me from losing my balance. "You will never see a Rainbow if you are always looking down" charlie Chaplin View all posts by all thats worth remembering
One thought on “Heaviness”
Your words are well spoken. Only a grieving mother understands. We died with them, but the life we are able to live is lived through them. They are with us every moment. We try to see things through their eyes and hold them tight. Billy lives in you, sweet Karen.
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