Today so many showed up for you Billy to celebrate the incredible human being that you were. You left a light that will never be put out.

July 31 1981

Today I know you are in a beautiful place. A place free from pain and hurt where love always exists. 37 years ago today God showed me the way we should always live our lives with kindness. To make people always feel seen. To show up for each other. I will celebrate the gift of you. He chose me as your mother.

Roller coaster

Every day you just cant predict what will happen. I remember 2 years ago when I started this journey of grief I cried every day. I learned the first year how to survive a little more. 2 year mark. If I get through a week it is a great accomplishment. You feel like they are slipping away from you. Then you could be in the middle of the supermarket and tears start pouring . It is a constant dance with grief with no one

leading.

It seems in a moment, your whole world can shatter
Like morning dreams they just disappear
Like dust in your hand falling to the floor
How can life ever be the same

Cos my heart is broken in pieces
Yes my heart is broken in pieces
Since youve been gone

Its all too easy to take so much for granted
Oh but its so hard to find the words to say
Like a castle in the sand the water takes away
But how can life ever be the same

Cos my heart is broken in pieces
Yes my heart is broken in pieces
Since Ive lost you

Oh now youll never see
Oh youll never know
All the things I planned for you
Things for you and me

Held your hand so tightly
That I couldnt let it go
Now how can life ever be the same

Cos my heart is broken in pieces
Yes my heart is broken in pieces
Since youve been gone

Cos my heart is broken in pieces
Yes my heart is broken in pieces
Since Ive lost you

By Tony banks & Phill Collins

I put a brick for my son at St. Anthony’s church in Oceanside NY and also Planting fields aboritorium. I felt that if I kept doing things it would relieve the pain of loss I felt every day if only for a day. Last year 2017, I googled a website and found another place to hold a memory of my son. What I found was so much more. Eisenhower Park has a memorial for children. I connected with the facilitator of the program. She called me after receiving my order for the brick. Eisenhower Park was a favorite of my son. He often brought his daughter there. He took me there on my last birthday with him and we spent a great day together with my granddaughter . This place couldn’t be more perfect. It also holds a beautiful story behind it. The statue resides in various locations all over the world bringing peace for parents. I spiritually connected with my son through Patty. I will forever be grateful. It reassured me that souls never die. It’s just the next level