Author: all thats worth remembering

A mother who has experienced the unimaginable. My greatest gift in my life are my sons. I could never imagine my life without them until one day I lost one. I want to honor his memory and help others who have experienced the same with my support and friendship. I have met amazing new friends through this journey that have saved me from losing my balance. "You will never see a Rainbow if you are always looking down" charlie Chaplin

It’s ok to give in

When my brother died 14 years ago I transferred that loss into taking care of my parents. They died 5 months apart from each other 8 years later. My mom died of a broken heart. I watched her suffer from the loss of my brother. She didnt leave the house anymore only to go to the cemetery or to church. I never understood why she put his shoes on his bed with his hat and kept his room like a memorial until I lost my own son. Grief makes people uncomfortable. Those that dont understand it. I wish I could sit with her now and talk about her pain. I mourned my brother the day she died. I suppressed it all that time. We all grieve in our own way. You read in books there is no right or wrong way. Give in to all of it. You would love them if they were here and never stop and it is the same for grief.

Inner sadness

Some people walk through life and you never know the inner sadness that existed most of their life never feeling good enough. They are our most gifted, most compassionate, most kind people that walk amoung us. Stop and take notice of these people. Embrace their worth. Never let go of their hand. It’s why we are here….

https://themindsjournal.com/11-habits-of-people-with-concealed-depression/

July 31 1981

Today I know you are in a beautiful place. A place free from pain and hurt where love always exists. 37 years ago today God showed me the way we should always live our lives with kindness. To make people always feel seen. To show up for each other. I will celebrate the gift of you. He chose me as your mother.

Roller coaster

Every day you just cant predict what will happen. I remember 2 years ago when I started this journey of grief I cried every day. I learned the first year how to survive a little more. 2 year mark. If I get through a week it is a great accomplishment. You feel like they are slipping away from you. Then you could be in the middle of the supermarket and tears start pouring . It is a constant dance with grief with no one

leading.