Every day you just cant predict what will happen. I remember 2 years ago when I started this journey of grief I cried every day. I learned the first year how to survive a little more. 2 year mark. If I get through a week it is a great accomplishment. You feel like they are slipping away from you. Then you could be in the middle of the supermarket and tears start pouring . It is a constant dance with grief with no one
leading.
Cos my heart is broken in pieces
Yes my heart is broken in pieces
Since youve been gone
Its all too easy to take so much for granted
Oh but its so hard to find the words to say
Like a castle in the sand the water takes away
But how can life ever be the same
Cos my heart is broken in pieces
Yes my heart is broken in pieces
Since Ive lost you
Oh now youll never see
Oh youll never know
All the things I planned for you
Things for you and me
Held your hand so tightly
That I couldnt let it go
Now how can life ever be the same
Cos my heart is broken in pieces
Yes my heart is broken in pieces
Since youve been gone
Cos my heart is broken in pieces
Yes my heart is broken in pieces
Since Ive lost you
By Tony banks & Phill Collins
I put a brick for my son at St. Anthony’s church in Oceanside NY and also Planting fields aboritorium. I felt that if I kept doing things it would relieve the pain of loss I felt every day if only for a day. Last year 2017, I googled a website and found another place to hold a memory of my son. What I found was so much more. Eisenhower Park has a memorial for children. I connected with the facilitator of the program. She called me after receiving my order for the brick. Eisenhower Park was a favorite of my son. He often brought his daughter there. He took me there on my last birthday with him and we spent a great day together with my granddaughter . This place couldn’t be more perfect. It also holds a beautiful story behind it. The statue resides in various locations all over the world bringing peace for parents. I spiritually connected with my son through Patty. I will forever be grateful. It reassured me that souls never die. It’s just the next level
of our journey.
I was with my son the day his daughter was born. It s something magical to love someone so much and watch them be given a gift with the same love. He sent me this photograph from the delivery room. It will always be a treasure to me. It was the first photo of 1000s that I received from him as we watched her grow for the next 3.5 years. I never knew that day that we would never continue our journey of watching her grow. All of her life’s celebrations he will miss. Today is the day my granddaughter was born.
In the end my son suffered from anxiety and depression. I often wonder if he lived his life like this always. Like Robin William’s he was always the funniest and happiest in the room. He was a freebird. Loved to make others laugh. He truly was a great person and human being. He saw things up close and felt compassion for everything. I have come to understand that those that live in sadness and low self worth have created a true purpose in their life. They are gifted with some talent. Whether it be an artist a singer an athlete, they excel at something more than most. They are very giving and compassionate. When any of this is ever threatened or taken away, their balance in this universe becomes jolted causing them great suffering.
Does he see how beautiful you have become. You were only 3.5 when he left this world. From the moment you were born you are all he lived for. Does he see how beautiful you have become. Your hair has grown and your eyes look
like his. Those piercing blue eyes. Does he watch over you as you sleep. I will always make sure you know how much you were the love of his life
Today was July 4th. Thinking of this holiday when we were all together. They approach and silently inside I miss you. There is always that hole in life without you here. It’s as if its brought up to the surface through a magnify glass.. yes you are gone.
All that's worth Remembering 
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